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Therapy Session

by Belzar

/

about

I wrote this during a hard period in my life.

lyrics

If you don't get help and support early on then you are more likely
To have experiences of depression anxiety or mental illness in general over time
If there is one thing that I hope to achieve through this talk is to prove that
There is nothing manly about suffering in silence
I hope to empower men to reach out for help and to show them
That vulnerability equals strength

I try to be grateful not hateful even with a plateful of bullshit
So many times in my life I felt like man I just can't pull through this
Been so crazy lately insane maybe in my brains a bullet
Suicide on my mind the past I can't leave behind but that'd be foolish

I got family that'd be mad at me if I had to leave so sadly
Actually I don't have any friends to call randomly at 2am
When I'm going through some shit again but I'll never give in never give up
Even when I feel stuck suffocating neck deep in mud

Made mistakes I'm the hardest judge maybe I am hard to love
Or maybe I'm just not too good at hiding anything under the rug
Honestly I'm too honest and maybe that can be tough
I look in the mirror and see this guy look in my eyes and say I'm enough

Going through a lot but who the hell cares does anybody got a second to spare
For life I didn't come prepared but I won't play the victim and say it ain't fair
This is For all the times that I felt scared
To go to therapy knowing there's help there self care

Twenty percent of the worlds population suffers from mental disorder
At some point in their lifetime thats 1 in 5 people over 70 million Americans
A billion people worldwide
The ways in which it will affect everyone who cares about you
Everyone who comes after you everything you touch
Everything you create everyone who you interact with in any way
Will be positively impacted by the work you do on yourself

I been fucking up getting drunk passing out on my front lawn
Reminiscing bout the days Id say dam this blunts strong
Doing things my future self is gonna look down upon
Already got that look from mom where'd I go wrong

I know it's past trauma that won't let relationships last longer
I try to act calmer but below the surface I react stronger
I have a knack for being triggered from what I lacked
In the past like abandonment issues do you know who left? My bitch ass dad

Yeah it's sad but true hands glued god what I'm asking u
To do is continue to help me through this process
I'm lost yes I don't know where I'm at on this path I stood here
It defies logic cause I thought it was gonna be a good year

Now I'm sitting here getting clear transmuting
Thinking about future plans and all the things I should be doing
It's time for change I'm not the same I take the blame bring on the shame
Give me the pain it helps me grow I'm letting go I'm letting go I'm letting go

credits

released October 21, 2022
Written By Belzar
Produced By Dreamlife Beats
Recorded in Los Angeles @ Green Tea Studios
Mixed and Mastered By Jennifer Ortiz (jny.mixedit)

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Belzar Montclair, California

Belzar, is an Inland Empire based Rapper/Producer.

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